August 19, 2008

Ha.

Some girl on Facebook has the last name of “Shats.”  Poor thing.

Though I suppose that’s still not as bad as our old babysitter’s friend’s last name, which was “Penis,” pronounced “pen-ess.”

“ I have a contention with the way people pronounce my daughter’s name. I did not name my daughter ‘Lady Nasty’! I named my baby girl ‘La Dynasty.’
Angry lady to friend, from OiNY

On the phone with Ashley, the acoustics are weird

  • Me: Are you in a bathroom?
  • Ashley: No, I'm in a jacuzzi. But there's no water in it!
“ I used to want to change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity
Lotus Weinstock

Lifetime supply of yogurt!

From nbcolympics.com:

Jefferson Perez won 20km race walk in 1996, first Olympic medalist from Ecuador, was given lifetime supply of yogurt.

So basically, I need to move to Ecuador, hone my race walking skills, compete in the Olympics, and I’m all set!  But only if the yogurt is blueberry or white chocolate cherry flavored.

I’ve always wanted a pet monkey. photo from Gawker

I’ve always wanted a pet monkey.

photo from Gawker

August 18, 2008
“ You have a stove! You can make macaroni! And you even have your own toilet bowl cleaner!
Ashley, after she asked if I was excited to be moving in to my very first apartment, and I told her no.  I honestly wish I could find pleasures in the simple things of life.

If you are going to drive in the passing lane...

and the speed limit is 70, then you should at least be going 75.

Damn morons.

Would You Rather?

I’m sure everyone has heard of this game.  When we were younger, my dad used to torment us by asking us to choose the “lesser” of the following:

Would you rather suck a dead man’s nose until his head caves in, or slide down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol?

I just thought I’d like to offer you something to jumpstart your Monday.  Let me know if you have any good ones.

Skydiving pictures!

From earlier today:

We all got a kick out of this sign.  Oh hey, I just accidentally made a pun!

This is the biggest collar that I ever intend to wear.  Also, I promise we don’t always look like such big douchebags.

Joe is ready to go!

I thought this was a pretty shitty picture.  But then I realized that I couldn’t see a single thing on my camera’s display, so I was basically taking pictures blindly.  This is Joe, by the way.

As Joe told me, I am the REAL Blue Ranger.

Check out those camel toes!

The airplane!

There I am!  High in the sky!

Sadly, it’s just about impossible to get any decent shots of us while in the air, so sorry for that.  However, we did pay to have some pictures of us taken as we jump out of the airplane, but I need to get those developed first.

(some of these pictures are mine, and some have been stolen from Joe.)